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The Repercussions of Asking Him to Stay Over
You don’t have to be a genius to work out that people want what they can’t have, and giving sex on a plate to a guy the first time you meet him is unlikely to be the start of a fairytale romance
I’ve mentioned it before, as a singleton one of the things I miss most is regular physical intimacy. Not just the sex, but those perfect weekend mornings, when you wake up in someone’s arms without a care in the world. The security of someone’s arm around your waist. An open chest to bury your back into, and a chin that nuzzles into your neck.
When you’re drunk, it’s easy to miss that intimacy even more. Your reactions go into overdrive, and sensibility goes out the window. You want things right here, right now, regardless of the future implications. And it’s only when you wake up to the cold light of day, and realise there’s no arm around your waist, no chest offering itself for you to bury your back into, and the guy’s chin is clamped firmly on the other side of the bed, that you realise rushing into asking someone back isn’t always the best option.
I’ve always understood the one-night stand thing. Yes, I know there are always exceptions to the rule – two of my friends married guys who started life in their world as potential one-night stands – but as the film He’s Just Not that Into You reminds us all, the safest way to play life is to expect that you’re the rule, not the exception.
You didn’t have sex with the guy the first time you met him. But you’ve got an exciting connection, and he seems just as excited. The connection stirs up the old feelings and expectations – you want to lie in his arms forever. Yes, you want to have sex with him. But it’s more than that. So how do you turn it into a long-game?
The more dates I go on, the more guys I meet, the more I realise we’re all wired pretty similar. Most people follow similar patterns of behaviour. (suite…)